Which Way Did She Go?!

I am a person with a very terrible sense of direction. I can never go anywhere without someone to accompany me. When I go someplace new with my friends, I don’t even remember the route we’ve headed because I’m always busy talking. So when I’m asked to meet someone in a place I’m not familiar with, I will then bargain with that person to meet me in a place I’m more familiar with instead.

But I love going to new places, oh yes siree, I love it. But I’m always, always with someone. I can only go alone to a new place when I’ve been there. Only then will I become attentive of my surroundings, noticing the landmarks that I have failed to take note of when I’m traveling with my friends.

I have this fear of getting lost. When I feel that I’m lost, I start to panic. When I panic, I go home, not being able to reach the place where I’m supposed to go. I remember that terrible feeling when I was a child. I couldn’t find my Mom in a building where all the doors are all identical. I went out of the room to see what’s outside. When I came back, there were a lot of doors and I couldn’t remember where I came from. So I cried and kept calling my Mom. It took a long time before they found me. Eversince then, I never let them out of my sight. My brother, when he got lost and found my parents, he said, “Mommy, Daddy, you got lost!”

The first time that I’ve traveled alone to a new place was when I went to Saipan to visit my older sister. I was very, very scared. But I have discovered that I can be brave. I then enjoyed being alone and attentive (as opposed to?). And that’s when I started to like traveling and going to unfamiliar places alone.

It’s an accomplishment for me when I’ve gone to an unfamiliar place whether I’ve gotten lost ot not. I learn to remember the details more and discover a lot of things while traveling. An acquaintance once told me that she loves hopping in any random bus that passes by and discover where it would lead her to . I wanna be like her: carefree, confident, and uninhibited.

I love the feeling of discovering the unknown. I love being lost in a crowd. I love talking to and meeting random strangers (well, except the suspicious ones). I love watching people while I’m sitting on a bench. I love spending time alone with myself not minding anyone else but me. I love it when I’m not thinking(and what would that make me?! I don’t even notice when I’m deep in thought).

I still have a terrible sense of direction. I guess it’s innate. I couldn’t even distinguish left from right without looking at my arms for guidance. But it kind of makes my traveling fun. If I know how to follow directions, I wouldn’t know how to get lost, would I?

Just think about it. 😉

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The Wandering Mind

March 3, 2006

I might as well write since my concentration is dwindling.

It’s funny how many students in my class are sleeping. I’m not sleepy, but my concentration is low. I always have a very short attention span. I don’t even notice how my brain shuts off and fly away to a different place.

I remember a very funny and embarrassing incident I had when I was in Isabela. Back home, you are obliged to go to Mass whether you like it or not. And Mom even wants to go to a 7 a.m.mass because it’s in English. But anyway, we attended the 8 a.m.mass, which is in Ilocano. We (our family) always sits in front. That time, there were only the three of us: me, my younger sister, and my Mom. I don’t know how my mind drifts away that easily. My body is literally present, but my mind is absent, and I don’t even do it on purpose. But somehow, my consciousness obeys its surroundings. Like, when the priest says stand, I’ll stand. And when he says sit, I’ll sit (just like a trained dog). That time, I was too oblivious of my surroundings that I didn’t know what was happening. I just felt my Mom and my sister tapping me. When I turned to look, they were both looking at me as if trying to suppress a laugh. It took a long time for me to realize that I was the only person standing. And to think we were even sitting in front! I felt really, really embarrassed that I sat slowly and didn’t look at anyone, who were probably laughing at that time. I felt my face flushed and I was pinching Mom’s hand for not telling me to sit right away. Mom and my sister couldn’t breathe for suppressing a laugh. I could even see Mom’s tears as she was laughing uncontrollably. Mom said she was wondering why I was still standing and it didn’t occur to her to call my attention until my sister asked my Mom why I was still standing. And she was still laughing as if it was the funniest thing in the world. I never heard the end of it.

So much for my wandering mind…