Rouselle’s Express Phone Line Service

May 10, 2006

I have been talking to a pre-recorded voice on the telephone a couple of times for the past 2 days now. Call centers really are popping out like mushrooms everywhere around the world like crazy. I’ve wasted 500 bucks for an international call that Joyce and I made for the nth time 2 days in a row listening to the instructions given by a slow-speaking pre-recorded female voice which tells us to keep pressing numbers while it eats our precious 24-peso per minute call. We were put on hold a couple of times listening to the pre-recorded voice again and again, and listening to a boring music before we were able to finally speak decently to a customer representative with an Indian accent, only to tell us that we need a credit card to pay for our transaction. After talking to the Indian guy I was able to instantly acquire his accent in no time…

Express phone line services are so much in demand nowadays that you just need to dial a number for any services that you need. Today though, I tried dialing 89-100, the BPI Express Phone Banking Service to inquire about my account balance. I was also instructed by a pre-recorded voice to keep pressing numbers before I was able to get the information I need. The same thing goes when using a PLDT Touch Card or any other card for that matter.

Since I have been talking a lot to a pre-recorded voice lately, it suddenly gave me an idea. I’m turning a year older tomorrow and some people, who never seem to get tired, have been bombarding me with questions about the “W” (wedding) word. It’s kinda getting into my nerves but I couldn’t just repeat the same answers to each person who tries to ask. That would be way too tiring and irritating at the same time. I couldn’t just say, “Hey, just read my blog. It’s entitled: When Are You Gonna Be Next? Jellybean’s Corner category, March archive” either. I wish I can also have my own express phone number where people can access every time they want to ask about the “W” word. I have pretty much an idea about it.

“Hey Rouselle, you’re turning another year older, so when are you planning to get married?”

“Please hold on while I connect you to the wedding line…”


“Welcome to Rouselle’s wedding questions express answers. If you want the instructions in English, press 1. If you want the instructions in Tagalog, press 2. If you want the instructions in Ilocano and die, press 3.”

(Presses 1)


“If you want to ask why Rouselle doesn’t want to get married yet, press 1. If you want to know Rouselle’s reasons for not getting married yet, press 2. If you’re not satisfied with her answers and want to die instead, press 3. If you have questions other than the “W” word, please wait, a customer service representative will attend to you shortly.”


“Sorry, all customer service representatives are busy right now. Please try your call again later.”


“Thank you for calling Rouselle’s wedding questions express answers.”