The Lingerie

April 20, 2006

I really had a very embarrassing day today. I went to the mall all by myself to buy a friend of mine (Gemma), who is going to get married, a sexy lingerie for her honeymoon. I want to buy something sexy but decent, not the porno type of sexy. I want to buy something seductive that would make her soon-to-be-husband drool.

So I went to the department store at the lingerie section and looked at the displays. There were different kinds of undies. I was too embarrassed to even touch it. Most of the undies were either lacy g-strings with nothing to cover or g-strings with an opening at the bottom. There is no way I would buy that thing! Nah-uh! I wouldn’t want people to think that I’m buying it for myself. No way! Hah! I wouldn’t be caught dead buying that thing. Hmmm…if only I could get someone to buy it for me maybe I would…

I went to look for lingerie. But then there wasn’t anything that appeals to my taste. I want my friend to look good in it. All of the displays were either too sexy or too bland. I’m losing hope. There wasn’t anything nice in there.

I went out and then saw this large boutique with different sexy lingerie. I saw something that I liked. It was a black see-through spaghetti-strapped lingerie. Sexy but decent. Perfect. I went to look for a saleslady but all I can see are male salespersons. I approached a saleslady at the shoes section and asked her to assist me but she told me it wasn’t her area and called the male salesperson instead because he was the one assigned in that section. When the salesperson arrived, I could feel my face flushed. I’m pretty sure that I’m all red. He was smiling when he approached me and when he asked what I want, I just pointed at the black lingerie like a kid pointing at a lollipop. I asked him if there was a larger size. He looked at me, looked at the lingerie, and then looked at me again and said, “This seems to just fit you right.” I so wanted to say “Gago ka ah!” but I kept my composure. Now my face was really flushed.

“It’s not for me! It’s for my friend who is getting married…”

“Oh…but we don’t have a larger size. We only have one size for this thing. I’m sure it’ll fit her.”

“Okay…um…is there some underwear that goes with it?” I asked, trying to hide my embarrassment.

He went to the rack and pulled an underwear that matches the lingerie.

“Here, what size do you want?”


“Are you sure?”

“Wait, let me see it first.” As I unfolded the underwear, it looks too large. But I don’t want to stay there any longer and look for another sexy underwear so I folded it back quickly and handed it to him.

“That’ll do.”

“Okay…” he said smiling.

Ggrrr…he thinks it’s for me!

After paying for that item, I went out embarrassed and unsatisfied. I’m not even sure if the underwear would fit my friend. I wasn’t expecting a male salesperson to assist me. I didn’t even have the chance to choose another lingerie because of embarrassment. I really hope that the underwear isn’t too large for my friend…or it would spoil her honeymoon…

Why did they assign a male salesperson in the lingerie section in the first place? Did they expect the customers to ask the male salesperson what type of lingerie would look good on them?

“Hey Mr. salesperson, what do you think of this lovely thong? Do you think it would make my buns stand out?”


“Hey Mr. salesperson, what do you think of this bra? Do you think it would make my bust look bigger?”

That would be the first and the last time I would be buying sexy lingerie. I mean, what the heck was I thinking????!!!!!!