I’m not in the mood to do anything today even if it’s my off day and I should continue doing what I should be doing (cleaning the house). Yes I’m down in the dumps that’s why I’m here writing down my thoughts as it is the only thing that helps me unload.

I just started cleaning our house 2 days ago and as I sat staring at it while sipping my coffee, I suddenly feel tired. There’s no use cleaning when members of the house doesn’t know how to tidy up things.

I thought after the surgery, mom’s knee will be able to heal fast and she could start walking again. But she keeps nurturing the pain. She now complains that everytime her knee clicks, it becomes swollen. I told her over lunch that we’ll see Dr. Molano again on Tuesday. I was even thinking of having  Mom undergo Physical Therapy so her knee would heal faster and she could be able to walk like she used to. I know how my Mom feels. She used to be so active that she has a hard time coping with her disability. I love my Mom and I’d do anything for her but I also want her to help herself and start thinking positive.

I also need to see a doctor, but I’ve been postponing it. If not for my age, I wouldn’t even bother to seek consult. I’ll just let time take its course. But then, my future is at stake. I’d like to preserve my reproductive system until I’d be able to conceive when the right time comes.

But the right time seems so far away. I don’t even know what the future holds. Right now, I’m just trying to take one day at a time. I don’t want to concern myself on things I have no control of.

And with that, I would like to start fresh. I’ll list down and set my priorities straight.