Write. Right!

The invitation was out. A lot of our friends whom we didn’t expect to come, would come, as they RSVP’d right away. Jess and I were both surprised. We definitely have to extend our budget. It’s okay, I guess. The more, the merrier.

I was just planning to wear jeans and a decent top on my after-the-wedding party when all of my friends who were invited were so excited and started planning on their outfits. I was like, should we really dress up for this? And they were like, it’s your day! You should wear a nice dress! Uh-oh.

9 more days and I’m getting married. I still don’t have the right shoes. And now I have to buy another dress. I’m not really a dressy kind of person. I buy dress on special occasions but I’ll never wear it again the second time. I’m not really comfortable walking around the streets wearing a dress. I’m also terrible in wearing high-heeled shoes. Really! I can’t walk on those so-called shoes.

I slept my worries away only to dream about it. I woke up thinking what I should do. Whenever I’m stressed, I find cleaning and organizing my things therapeutic. So I did my laundry and reorganized my closet. I found my 4 barely touched journals. I stared at it and started reading the things that I wrote. The other journals I found doodles of grocery list, budget list, to-do list and some random numbers. One journal contains some notes on my IELTS exam. The other one, I wrote about the things that happened on a day-to-day basis. The smallest journal contains my random thoughts. What would I do with 4 journals when I barely write anymore? It will just collect dust and I don’t need any more clutter lying around my closet. I decided to throw away the 3 journals and keep the smallest one as I don’t want anyone reading my private thoughts.

I miss writing. I miss writing down my thoughts. I have a lot of things in mind that I like to write about. Things that are meant to be read by me alone.

Can I just marry in my thoughts? That would save me time worrying about a lot of things.

9 more days and I’m getting married. This is it. There’s no turning back.

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The 5 Stages of Cleaning (via Oh My Words!)

I love this! I remember staring at our apartment thinking how do I start cleaning a mess that my sisters created?

The 5 Stages of Cleaning Optimism This isn’t that bad. I can totally do this. I’ll put some peppy music on, pull my hair back, push up my sleeves. I’ll bet I can get this done in 2 hours, tops. I am good! Devastation MY. GOD. There’s no end to the mess! Who am I kidding? I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do this. Where did it all come from? Where do I put it? Why do I have one red shoelace? Why am I keeping every birthday card I’ve ever gotten? Ewww–why is there s … Read More

via Oh My Words!

Dreaming of a Clean House

Procrastination. It’s what I’m good at these days. It seems easier to just lounge around and do nothing (as it is my off day, I say I deserve a break).

I miss my old clean house. The one thing that really prevents me from doing my chores is when I see members of this house all over the living room, not caring whether their environment is chaotic. One thing is clear though: NO ONE GIVES A DAMN ABOUT CLEANING THE ENTIRE HOUSE EXCEPT ME.

I miss being alone. It’s nice to have people around but I like it more when they’re always out. That way I can do my chores uninterrupted. Maybe that’s why I prefer to spend my entire day on the computer. It keeps my mind away from the reality.

Whenever I decide to clean, it’s always a major clean up. It takes me a whole day to finish cleaning, with members of the house either in their room lying down on the bed or watching me clean. I wonder what’s gonna happen if they stay together in this house without me.

It has always been like this.

I wanna move out and start living on my own.