Mindset: Anything But Pregnancy

My blood pressure went back to normal. The Cardiologist told me not to think about my blood pressure too much. If I want to check, I should rest first before taking it, he said. And he’s right. My blood pressure is much okay after resting. My husband and I bought our own BP apparatus but ironically, we seldom use it. I stopped taking my blood pressure everyday, I didn’t go back to see the Cardiologist for my prescription (iron supplement), and I started eating unhealthy again. Well, I mean, once in a while isn’t that bad, I guess.

I didn’t go back to my OB-Gyn this month to check if I have an egg. Not because I didn’t want to but because of my work schedule. So this will be my third month of failing trying to conceive. I’m on the fifth and last day of oral antibiotics the OB-Gyn prescribed. So I will see her after 10 days. Right, and by that time, I have an unfertilized egg ready for the next cycle of menstruation.

My OB-Gyn also told me it would be better if I take the cervical cancer vaccine. But just when I have decided to take my first dose of cervical cancer vaccine this month, my colleague (who was assigned in giving the vaccine to the employees) told me that I wasn’t included in the list of employees who ordered the vaccine. I should just wait next year, she said. Great. Just great.

Mom said I need to stop thinking about trying to conceive. It’s giving me all the unnecessary stress. I wish it’s that easy. It’s like asking me to delete a part of my memory stored in the deepest recesses of my brain which activates itself without my permission. Like it’s a readily available information that pops up every time right there in front of you. It makes me think, question myself, and not doing anything about it makes me all the more frustrated.

Deep inside, I know it will come at the right time. I just needed to figure out how I can stop thinking about trying to get pregnant.

I think I will start by not blogging about it. 😁


Stressed Over Pressure

I finally decided to see a Cardiologist, as advised by my best friend. She told me, why should I wait till I get pregnant? It would be better to prepare myself for pregnancy and avoid any complications, she said. She has a point.

So this morning, I went to see this Cardiologist referred by my nurse in OB.

The Cardiologist is an Arab, a consultant in Cardiology and Internal Medicine. He was very nice. He took my history, did the physical exam (I didn’t know he would also check my femoral artery and I was wearing my period undies!) and the ECG. He personally took my blood pressure manually. He asked me if I’m scared and I said I was, at that time. Then he asked me to relax for a few minutes then took my BP again. The result was lower than the previous. He told me my ECG is normal, my heart and lungs are both normal. It’s just probably stress (I knew it!). But he will order some blood test and I need to do fasting. He told me he wouldn’t prescribe me any medication. i just need to have a healthy diet (oookaaay…) and avoid any stress (like how?!).

Well, that wasn’t so bad. I just went to see a Doctor to tell me to relax. I guess I have to wait for my blood test. I’m expecting a high cholesterol and sodium level. I just hope my fasting blood sugar is normal.

Stress. I guess need to do some yoga. If a patient sees doing a mountain pose at work, it’s me being stressed by that patient.

Inhale. Exhale.