2014: Let’s start the day right, or just try.

I started the year celebrating with my husband at my best friend’s flat. We brought all of our Christmas gifts, which we weren’t able to give because I have work on Christmas. The two children, my best friend’s 6-year old daughter and 3-year old son, cried when they opened their gifts. I gave them books and they didn’t like it. Maybe they were expecting toys. I felt so embarrassed when they were throwing tantrums telling their mom that they don’t like the gift. I know they are just children. They still don’t know how to act politely when someone had given them presents they don’t like. But I still got hurt. Maybe it’s the rejection. Rejection does hurt really bad, even if it came from innocent children.

Anyway, my best friend gave me Nike slippers and my husband got a Nike shirt. We gave my best friend and her husband a memory foam pillow. Kind of like an orthopedic pillow that protects your neck, which is also antibacterial and anti-mold. We gave their nanny a memory foam travel pillow as well.

Spending Christmas and New Year away from our family doesn’t really bring the true spirit of celebration. We just sat there watching a movie while awkwardly glancing at the clock wondering why the time was running so slow. It made me think, I should have gone to work instead.

Alas, 12 midnight came. We started making some noise. The children blew their toy trumpet. My best friend made some noise using her daughter’s coin bank. Her husband played some drums on his iphone, which is connected to the speaker, and my husband used the toy drum. Me, I just clapped my hands.

After making some noise, we started our Media Noche. Gluttony at its best. We waited for an hour for the food to be properly digested before we went to sleep. My husband and I slept in the children’s play room. I didn’t sleep well. When I was able to sleep, I had a nightmare. A child was lying curled next to me. I tried waking up my husband but no sound came out of my mouth. But I think he was able to hear me moan and I felt him trying to wake me up. When he asked me what’s wrong, I told him there’s a child lying next to me. So he hugged me tightly and told me I’m just having a bad dream.

This morning, after having coffee, my husband and I went home to prepare going to mass. We weren’t able to attend mass last Christmas so we made sure to attend the New Year’s mass.

Tradition. It makes you feel bad when you don’t follow it. They say a lot of things like, a year of bad luck if you didn’t start the year right. You should be happy, you should be in a good mood, don’t spoil the day, avoid any negative vibes, etc. But what about moody persons like me? Does it mean I’m gonna spend the rest of the year being moody when I have been moody my whole life? Does your attitude during new year or the way you act on the very first day of the year reflects what’s going to happen for the rest of the year?

Yes, I had temper tantrums on our way to church which made me feel like I’m not a good person. My mood didn’t change when we went home and decided not to go to my best friend’s flat for lunch. I stayed in our room like a grouchy 2-year old. My husband almost lost his mind trying to understand me. But in the end, he gave in and let me be myself. He gave me some space, came back and waited until I was ready to talk.

I think I spoiled my husband’s first day of the year. But he was too nice to even consider it spoiled. I wonder how long will he be able to have patience in me.

Here’s to the next challenges of married life. May we be able to surpass it all. Amen.


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