Adjustment period. My Mom used to say you’ll never truly know a person until you’ve lived with that person. J and I have been boyfriend and girlfriend for 12 years before we got married. We never had any majorly fight. Oh, we fight alright! But oftentimes, we fight over simple things.
J is a type of person who stops and smells the roses. I’m the type who believes that time is gold. I’m always in a rush, like I’m meeting a deadline and have to be on time. I don’t like any hassles. I’m always preparing breakfast for him before he goes for work. The way he slowly eats, savoring the flavor, makes me eat my breakfast real fast like I’m the one who is going to be late for work. If he’s still eating and I’m done, I’ll prepare his things, his shoes, so that when he’s finished eating he’ll just step right through the door and head on to the bus stop without any delay. Then if he’s still not moving, I’ll start talking about how late he is, that he should move fast so he could catch the bus etc. Then he’ll tell me to stop, that there’s still plenty of time and I have nothing to worry about, etc.
One time we went to the mall for our grocery after going to the church. I was heading straight to the grocery store and he told me we should roam around first and relax since it’s our day off. I was fidgeting all the time while he leisurely browses the shoes in a sports store. I frequently glance at my watch, counting how much time is left for my laundry, cooking and ironing. Ugh! Just writing this all down makes me look like a wife made in hell. I remember my younger sister telling me that when I get married, maybe I’ll be like Bree of Desperate Housewife, the way I’m so meticulous in everything, the way I like everything clean and organized. J have no complaints about my “cleanliness and orderliness” as he’s very organized himself.
The thing is, this the-clock -is-ticking attitude of mine is giving me trouble. J prepared breakfast for me before going for work, which I gobbled all up in less than 5 minutes while he’s busy doing something in the kitchen. He was surprised when I’m all done and he wasn’t even able to touch his meal. I was ready to go when he told me to wait for him because he’ll walk me to the bus stop. I told him he doesn’t have to but he insisted. So I had to wait for him while he’s preparing and my thoughts are running on how to catch the bus on time. I’ve wasted 5 minutes waiting for him when I should’ve been walking by that time. I was talking nonstop telling him I don’t want to miss the 8:10 bus, that he’s making me miss the 8:10 bus. He said there’s plenty of bus. I told him I don’t want any bus, I want the 8:10 bus, like a little brat pouting.
I know I’m being difficult but I can’t help it. I want to be like him, but not too much. He’s a good man, yes he is, and he has good intentions, I know. Maybe opposites do attract because one becomes a reminder of the other. J is a reminder of me that I should, once in a while, stop and smell the roses. I, on the other hand is a reminder of J, that sometimes, every minute counts.
There are still a lot of things that we will discover about each other. We’ll just have to be strong enough to face the challenges and accept our differences. And the marriage goes on…